It's Not Personal, Mike. It's Just Business

It's Not Personal, Mike. It's Just Business

Postby sister golden hair on Thu Nov 08, 2012 2:15 pm

Posted this several days ago on another site:


INT. THE LAKERS PRACTICE FACILITY IN EL SEGUNDO - DAY

Mitch Kupchak (Michael Corleone), Jim Buss (Freddo) and Joey Buss (Al Neri) enter.

Mike Brown (Carlo -- the traitor) hangs up the phone that he was dialing.

MITCH K.
You have to answer for the 0 and 5 record, Mike.

MIKE BROWN
Mitch, you got it all wrong...

MITCH K.
You infiltrated the organization to ruin us from within. Ahhh that little farce you played with John Kuester last season -- you think that could fool a Laker? And this year, turning Nash into Derek Fisher ...

MIKE BROWN
Mike, I'm innocent -- I swear on ... Steve Blake's jumper. Mitch -- Please, Mitch, don't do this to me.

MITCH K. (as he pulls up his own chair)
Sit down.

MIKE BROWN (sitting)
Mitch, don't do this to me, please...

MITCH K.
David Stern is dead. So is Mark Cuban -- Dan Gilbert -- Pat Riley- and Bennet Salvatore. Today I settle all Laker Family business, so don't tell me you're innocent, Mike. Admit what you did.

(then, to Joey Buss

Get him a drink, Joey -- and don't pour yourself one.

(then, to Mike, as Mitch shifts in his chair)

Come on. Don't be afraid, Mike -- Come on, you think I'd make my franchise a laughing stock? I'm Godfather to your son, Mike --

(then, after Joey Buss hands Mike Brown a glass of wine)

Go ahead, drink it -- drink

(then, after Mike Brown drinks)

No -- Mike -- you're out of the Franchise, that's your punishment. You're finished. At noon you will announce via press conference that you're resigning from the head coaching position of the Lakers to spend more time with your DVD collection ... in Vegas --

MIKE BROWN
But my family lives in LA, Mitch, not in Vegas ...

MITCH K.
Yeah, well ... now they do because I made them an offer they couldn't refuse.

(then, to Jimmy, as he reaches out his hand)

Jim?

(Jim hands Mitch a plane ticket, which he hands to Mike Brown)

I want you to stay there. Understand? You can coach our D-League affiliate.

Only don't tell me you're innocent. Because it insults my intelligence -- and it makes me very angry...

Now who approached you? Was it David Stern or Greg Popovich?

MIKE BROWN (after hesitating)
It was Popovich.

MITCH K.
Good. There's a car waiting for you outside to take you to the Press conference, and then to the airport. I'll call your wife, to tell her what flight you're on.

MIKE BROWN (as he rises, starts to protest)
Mitch, please...

MITCH K.
Come on -- get outta my sight. And close your mouth for chrissake. The reflection from your teeth is giving me a migraine.

[Mike Brown turns. Joey Buss helps him put on his coat]

CUT TO: LAKER COMPOUND GATE - DAY

Rick Adelman is putting luggage into the rear of the car. Mike Brown gets
into the front seat.

Metta World Peace (Clemenza) is seen behind Mike Brown, in the back seat.

METTA WORLD PEACE
Queensbridge says Hello, Coach

Metta garrotes Mike Brown, who gets pulled back and kicks his feet
at the windshield, which breaks as the car takes off.

Mitch, Jim, and Joey watch. After the car pulls away, we hear the Godfather Title Theme music as they walk through the mall.

FADE OUT
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Re: It's Not Personal, Mike. It's Just Business

Postby kray28 on Thu Nov 08, 2012 2:49 pm

Jimmy is definitely Fredo.
Mitch is Tom Hagen more than he is Michael.
Jeannie is Connie
Doc Buss is Vito

I don't know if there is a Michael TBH. Maybe Phil?

As for Clown...he's not Carlo, he's Moe Green.
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Re: It's Not Personal, Mike. It's Just Business

Postby lakersStan24 on Fri Nov 09, 2012 4:34 pm

this was so funny thanks for that :man10:
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Re: It's Not Personal, Mike. It's Just Business

Postby clubsoto24 on Fri Nov 09, 2012 4:41 pm

Jimmy Kimmel asking Kobe about his back pain in an interview:
KB:I actually hurt it vacuuming.
JK: do you think your back is more sensitive from carrying the Lakers all season or.. ?
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Re: It's Not Personal, Mike. It's Just Business

Postby lakersStan24 on Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:14 pm

There Should Be a 2nd & 3rd Installment This is So Funny
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Re: It's Not Personal, Mike. It's Just Business

Postby jOeyB7000 on Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:30 pm

haha that was great.

kray28 wrote:Jeannie is Connie


Connie is the sister right? The one that gets beat by her husband? I don't think that does Jeanie any justice lol
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Re: It's Not Personal, Mike. It's Just Business

Postby KareemTheGreat33 on Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:33 pm

kray28 wrote:As for Clown...he's not Carlo, he's Moe Green.


Buy me out?!! I'll buy you out!!
"Allons-y Lakers!"
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