Tired of your team losing to the Lakers year in and year out? Tired of making excuses as to why your all-stars started to choke down the stretch? It doesn't matter which team you root for, pour yourself a glass of the Queen's very own Sacramento whine! Drinking a mere 4 ounces will insure your myopic justifications why your team lost. Your delusions may include; NBA referees, conspiracy theories, your center's inferiority to Shaquille O'Neal, your coach's playoff inexperience or your teams lack of "one more key player to get us over the hump."
Here are some comments from some satisfied customers- "When my boys got their [Swearing is not permitted at Clublakers. You must edit this post prior to submitting.] handed to em' for the 3rd year in a row, I was livid! A friend from Sacramento sent me a bottle of the whine, I took a sip, and voila! In no less than 5 minutes I started seeing visions of Joe Crawford, Joe Forte and Greg Willard conspiring with commisioner Stern for the Lakers to win 10 titles in a row. Not only did I get a good buzz, but I can see now how my convicts, err, Blazers lost." Danny K, Portland, OR
"We had homecourt advantage, we had the best record in the league. I even slipped my buddy Jeff in Marriott catering a fifty spot to add some of his "special sauce" in Kobe's order. I thought nothing would stop us this year! I was jumping up & down with Bobby Jackson after game 5. All we needed was one more game. The zebras gave them game 6. We were robbed I tell ya! I even thought since we were coming home for game 7, we would clinch it there. It wasn't meant to be. An air ball and an errant pass later, it was over.
I was either gonna jump into the Sacramento river butt naked or I was gonna drink myself into a stupper. Leaving Arco arena I heard a radio spot advertising the whine, calling it the "elixer that'll fix ya till' next season" and I'm telling you it lives up to it's billing. All I needed was me, Bessie and a bottle of whine. I took it in faster than C Webb pocketing 20 g's from Michigan University!
It's inevitable, our guys will eventually lose to the boys down south, but now I can drink myself into devine rationality every year, with Sacramento whine. Thanks guys!" Frankie, Citrus Heights, CA
So you see, many NBA fans are experiencing the benefits of drinking Sacramento whine without the guilt or intoxication of drugs, denial, morning after [Swearing is not permitted at Clublakers. You must edit this post prior to submitting.] or even suicide. Get your bottle now! Available at all CVS, Rite-aid, Billy Bob's bait & tackle and Elmer's general store locations in the greater Sacramento area.