Infatuation vs Love

How do you know when you are in love and not just very infatuated? Is there a perceivable difference? How do I know if it's legit? Logic? Gut? I really don't know. Do I need to?

When you're willing to run into a burning building to save that person and not think twice before you do it, then it's love.

revgen wrote:When you're willing to run into a burning building to save that person and not think twice before you do it, then it's love.

Co-sign this. Infatuation / lust comes and goes rather quickly. If you're in love, that persons needs will come before your own.

Another good indicator is the first sign of trouble. If it's just infatuation, you won't stick around to endure the trouble. Real love will bring you closer during the dark times.

Love is not an emotion, its an act of will. Love is not a feeling, its actions. We have been conned by our culture into thinking that love is a warm feeling or obsession, or infatuation, or objectification, or worst of all lust. I know I love my wife because I am willing to do what is right, willing to stay the course, willing to abandon self for her. I know she loves me because she choses to do the same. In the end there is us committed to each other independent of how we feel.

Thanks Rev and John, I think you may be right.
And Kingsama, nice answer, I really like that concept.

If you still want to hang out with her after you bump uglies then it's love. If you're dialing her a cab the moment your finished it's just lust.

You just know.

revgen wrote:When you're willing to run into a burning building to save that person and not think twice before you do it, then it's love.

Well some people do that regardless of if they are in love or not. Natural heroes.

If she'll swallow and let you put it in her butt, she's a keeper.

Oh no.....you didn't just do that.....

buahahahah really punk?

Jigglin Jello wrote:If you still want to hang out with her after you bump uglies then it's love. If you're dialing her a cab the moment your finished it's just lust.

But infatuation isn't just lust.. It can be more than that.. She spent the night a couple of times after we "bumped uglies" and I really liked it and enjoyed her company, but I'm still not sure..
What I like the most is the conversation. It's so good, it flows so naturally. I'm not the easiest guy in the world, I usually have trouble really connecting with people, but with her it's the complete opposite. We talk till sunrise and I still don't get tired of it.

Pretty much what the first few posts said.

I was scared that I was just infatuated, but thats not the case. You just know by your gut. Like if you feel if the person was in danger, you'd help out, whatever it may be.

Finwë wrote:

Jigglin Jello wrote:If you still want to hang out with her after you bump uglies then it's love. If you're dialing her a cab the moment your finished it's just lust.

But infatuation isn't just lust.. It can be more than that.. She spent the night a couple of times after we "bumped uglies" and I really liked it and enjoyed her company, but I'm still not sure..
What I like the most is the conversation. It's so good, it flows so naturally. I'm not the easiest guy in the world, I usually have trouble really connecting with people, but with her it's the complete opposite. We talk till sunrise and I still don't get tired of it.

Seriously sounds like a great start to maybe the "real thing"....good luck with it! Treat her well....see things from her point of view when you disagree. (Then do it your way anyway )

^ lol ok thanks

lmfao at Punk ------ classic.

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Believe it or not there is biology involved for what people call infatuation or lust but it has an expiry on the chemical reactions going on.

I think a lot of what Kingsama said is the reality of what love is..... but I would add that what your actions are after this chemical process fades is what can be classified as what we call love when it comes to a long term partner.

^^ thanks Roos. I think I know what you mean. I think I'm like between that and the hot chick part lol.. Unless it was possible to still find her looks breathtaking while seeing, knowing and cherishing her as you put it.
I guess with time I'll find out. I just don't want to be irrational, I want to be prepared for whatever the future may hold with her. I want to understand what I'm feeling and the reasons behind it. They say love isn't logical but I think one could really argue against that. There are a number of things you idealize and once you start discovering them in someone, you sure feel something strong.

Finwë wrote:^^ thanks Roos. I think I know what you mean. I think I'm like between that and the hot chick part lol.. Unless it was possible to still find her looks breathtaking while seeing, knowing and cherishing her as you put it.
I guess with time I'll find out. I just don't want to be irrational, I want to be prepared for whatever the future may hold with her. I want to understand what I'm feeling and the reasons behind it. They say love isn't logical but I think one could really argue against that. There are a number of things you idealize and once you start discovering them in someone, you sure feel something strong.

Exactly! Like Punk succinctly and yet so eloquently put it.........

LTLakerFan wrote:

Finwë wrote:^^ thanks Roos. I think I know what you mean. I think I'm like between that and the hot chick part lol.. Unless it was possible to still find her looks breathtaking while seeing, knowing and cherishing her as you put it.
I guess with time I'll find out. I just don't want to be irrational, I want to be prepared for whatever the future may hold with her. I want to understand what I'm feeling and the reasons behind it. They say love isn't logical but I think one could really argue against that. There are a number of things you idealize and once you start discovering them in someone, you sure feel something strong.

Exactly! Like Punk succinctly and yet so eloquently put it.........

LMFAO

Rooscooter wrote:

revgen wrote:When you're willing to run into a burning building to save that person and not think twice before you do it, then it's love.

When you run from a theater where people are getting shot while not even thinking about your girlfriend or her child that's not love....


Sorry.... I couldn't resist....

It crossed my mind too, prior to getting to your post. As I continued reading, and scrolling down, you said it before I could finish reading them all.

Rooscooter wrote:
As for the OP's question. Having been engaged 4 times and married twice (first time for 9 months) it is apparent that I used to have issues with this myself (understatement). When you look at your girlfriend and stop seeing a hot chick and start seeing her you will know that you've crossed over..... That's what happened for me 22 years ago.....

If your wife (or any wife/girlfriend) read this, you know she'd only see the underlined.

When you turn off the 'Dwight trade is literally happening NOW' news cycle on Thurs night for an hour to go upstairs with your wife, it's still love. And I'm in my 50's.

^^^ or just means you were a Bynum supporter..... I keed I keed

Phil XI wrote:When you turn off the 'Dwight trade is literally happening NOW' news cycle on Thurs night for an hour to go upstairs with your wife, it's still love. And I'm in my 50's.

hmmm.. I did go out with her Thursday night, but before going out I ignored a call to check this forum for news on Howard lol..