I have a vision for a Jack Nicholson mascot for the lakers. A giant plush oversized head, glasses intact, running around with an axe, and dunking from trampolines at halftime.
You could even work in deep "Five Easy Pieces" in-jokes about him trying to order breakfast at dinnertime or donning a stars and stripes bike helmet to jump through a flaming hoop then swigging whiskey.
The future of the Lakers. Somebody good with photoshop, PLEASE, make this a reality.